terezi-owns2:

THE LITTLE KID NEXT DOOR JSUT OPENED HIS WINDOW AND YELLED “WHAT IS 27 PLUS 4” AND I YELLED “IT’S 31” AND HE SAID “THANK YOU GOD LADY” IM LAUGIHNG

(Source: terezisprite2)


unclefather:

dimetrodons:

mitzi—may:

mrbigode:

Cats do not like fruits

this is my favorite gif set.

get this the fuck out of my face

suctioning:

aciddd-angel:

suctioning:

when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store

image

why the fuck would this be my reaction

You must not have a best friend


vodka-tonic-please:

somegayurl:

thatfunnyblog:

 

Ingenuity.

I AM DONE

Give the guy a hand though, cause that’s actually really fucking smart.

I want a boy that smart

(Source: kingjaffejoffer)


lesbianbookclub:

I just laughed so fucking hard

(Source: dailystupiddrawing.blogspot.com)


lovemetoinfinity:

fancypancakes:

I will reblog this until my fingers bleed

so true

(Source: is-it-in-yet)

10 Ways to Say Masturbation

is-it-in-yet:

Because May is National Masturbation Month we came up with our 10 favorite slang words for one of our favorite past times:

  1. Fumble your frank
  2. Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork
  3. Hand start the yogurt shooter
  4. Jizsturbation
  5. Make Stomach pancakes
  6. Juice your sluice
  7. Cook cucumbers
  8. Play with Willy the wonder worm
  9. Tender the meat curtains
  10. Play the hairy banjo

- Masturbation List

(Source: merthgarza)


itsstuckyinmyhead:

Cats and Tumblr

(Source: tsarcasm)

bucketsaurusrex:

What if we mixed old school with new school?

Like we tell our kids to be home before their phone dies the first time, no charges in between

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

image

They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

image

update: she caught a squirrel today

image

She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

My car is my baby. Her name is cherry 🍒

a-goddessofmischief:

parnela-lansbury:

kenezbian:

soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them

image

admittedly, there are a few bugs in the system

I think its perfect.

The bottom one says “Holy fuck I shit”.