THE LITTLE KID NEXT DOOR JSUT OPENED HIS WINDOW AND YELLED “WHAT IS 27 PLUS 4” AND I YELLED “IT’S 31” AND HE SAID “THANK YOU GOD LADY” IM LAUGIHNG
Cats do not like fruits
this is my favorite gif set.
get this the fuck out of my face
when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store
why the fuck would this be my reaction
You must not have a best friend
I want a boy that smart
I AM DONE
Give the guy a hand though, cause that’s actually really fucking smart.
Because May is National Masturbation Month we came up with our 10 favorite slang words for one of our favorite past times:
- Fumble your frank
- Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork
- Hand start the yogurt shooter
- Make Stomach pancakes
- Juice your sluice
- Cook cucumbers
- Play with Willy the wonder worm
- Tender the meat curtains
- Play the hairy banjo
Cats and Tumblr
What if we mixed old school with new school?
Like we tell our kids to be home before their phone dies the first time, no charges in between
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power
soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them
admittedly, there are a few bugs in the system
I think its perfect.
The bottom one says “Holy fuck I shit”.